CluckKit™ + Smart (S)ass Bundles = Zero B.S. Chicken Keeping + Coop Couture That Gets You
🐔 Because Pinterest Starter Lists Are Lying to You
We’ve all been there.
You fall down a “what to buy for chickens” rabbit hole and end up with a rainbow-colored feeder, 17 supplement bottles, and a coop sign that says “Farm Sweet Farm” while your hen just pooped in your coffee.
Most kits out there are curated for cuteness—not chaos-tested chicken keeping.
So we built something better.
Two collections. One mission:
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The CluckKit™ Collection – Functional, field-tested kits for real birds in real coops.
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Smart (S)ass Bundles for Chicken Keepers – Gear that says what you’re really thinking (without needing to bleep it out).
🧰 The CluckKit™ Collection: Built to Solve Flock Chaos
These aren't just “starter kits.” These are problem-solvers in a box.
Each one is curated from what actually works on our farm—tested by landrace birds, messy humans, and Clancy himself.
Here's a taste:
🩹 Coop Crisis Kit™
Scrambling during a wound emergency is not the move. This kit’s got everything you’ll wish you had when your hen suddenly looks like an extra from a horror film.
Why it exists: Because first aid isn't optional—it's just often forgotten.
💊 Peck Me Up Medicine Cabinet™
Forget the flimsy "first aid" kits packed with wishful thinking and gauze that barely sticks. This is a real medicine cabinet for chicken keepers who’d rather be prepared than panicked.
Choose your kit level—Basic, Plus, or Barn Boss—based on your flock size, budget, and tolerance for late-night chaos.
Each kit is:
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Built from what we actually use on our own birds
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Packed with vet-wrap, wound spray, nail clippers, blood stop, and more
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Tiered to grow with your flock (and your chicken-related anxiety)
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Paired with a no-BS reference guide so you know what to do, when
Why it exists: Because most chicken problems aren’t emergencies… until they are. And you don’t need to be elbows-deep in feathers Googling “pasty butt treatment” with shaky hands.
Barn Boss bonus: Mite treatments, dewormers, leg ointments—aka, the “Gladys-next-door-called-you-first” starter pack.
🪺 Hen Den Essentials Kit™
No more egg bowling. No more broody breakouts. Just clean nests, comfy hens, and fewer smashed yolks.
Why it exists: Because some nesting boxes are just decorative lies.
🎲 The Ultimate Flock Enrichment Kit™
Chickens get bored. Bored chickens get mean. This kit keeps your flock engaged, enriched, and pecking at something other than each other.
Why it exists: Because enrichment isn’t cute—it’s necessary.
🪣 BYOB Kit™ – Bring Your Own Buckets
You’ve seen the hacks. This is the real one. Our BYOB kit lets you build out a practical watering or feeding system using gear you already have.
Why it exists: Because duct tape, wishful thinking, and YouTube aren’t a supply chain.
Clancy Crowed It:
If your chicken kit came with decorative hay bales, it’s not for chickens. It’s for Pinterest.
😎 Smart (S)ass Bundles: Because You Deserve Better Coop Gear
Let’s be real: most chicken-themed merch is either pastel nonsense or looks like a Cracker Barrel clearance bin.
Not here. Our Smart (S)ass Bundles are for the chicken keeper who’s tired, unhinged, and still showing up every day with grit, grace, and a coffee-stained hoodie.
🔥 The Passive Cluckin’ Aggressive Bundle
Includes:
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“Don’t Talk to Me Before I Crow” tote
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“Cluck You Very Much” coop flag
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Matching mug that gets the point across before your coffee kicks in
Why it exists: Because subtlety is overrated.
🐓 Chicken Keeper Survival Bundle
Includes:
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“Emergency Chicken Stuff” drawstring bag
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“Still Cluckin’ (Barely)” tumbler
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Sticker set for emotional support
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“Flock Fails & Fixes” journal—because therapy is expensive
Why it exists: Because you’ve earned a badge in coop trauma.
🌅 No One Here Is a Morning Person Bundle
Includes:
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“I Work for a Rooster” oversized tote
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“Cluck Off—I Meant Good Morning” mug
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Matching tee that speaks louder than your 6 a.m. voice
Why it exists: Because sarcasm is your only alarm clock.
Clancy Crowed It:
If your chicken merch says “Farm Sweet Farm,” it ain’t from us. We’re more “Cluck Off, I Meant Good Morning.”
🧠 Why These Two Collections Belong Together
We didn’t just want you to have what you need—we wanted you to feel seen doing it.
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The CluckKit™ Collection supports your birds with gear that works, not gimmicks.
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Smart (S)ass Bundles support you, because you deserve gear that gets your humor, your hustle, and your hen-fueled breakdowns.
We don’t gatekeep. We don’t fluff. We just give you real tools and real talk for this wild feathered ride.
🛍 Ready to Flock Smarter?
Whether you’re building your first brooder or just need a mug that matches your morning rage...
👉 [Browse the CluckKit™ Collection]
👉 [Explore Smart (S)ass Bundles for Chicken Keepers]
🔄 This Is Just the Beginning
We’re still building these bundles and kits as we go—based on what actually works, what real chicken keepers ask for, and what our own flock throws at us.
New additions are coming soon to both the CluckKit™ Collection and the Smart (S)ass Bundles.
Got something you wish existed?
Drop us a message or hit that "Ask Clancy" chat button in the corner—we’re always adding gear that solves real coop problems (or at least makes them funnier).
💬 Final Clancy Crow:
“You don’t need 14 supplements. You need clean water and some damn common sense. And maybe that ‘Cluck You’ mug.”
